Goals are for dorks. Veronica says burn your vision board!

Veronica is my evil twin and Tarot reader extraordinaire. She is here to extract the wisdom of the Tarot and inject it into your daily life….all while talking nasty and being a total bitch.

Osho Zen Tarot

You know what? You don’t have to set any more fucking goals from now on.

You don’t have to become your “best self” or improve or aim higher.

Leave that shit to Tony Robbins.

You’re good just the way you are.

Do you feel a weight lifting off your shoulders now? Do you feel a little less exhausted?

That’s because goals and dreams can drag you down. Oh sure, at first they seem to lift you up – just like cocaine.

You feel all zippy when you paste together your vision board. You’re overcome by that heady assumption that the universe is your bitch and you can just order shit up like at a drive thru.

But then time passes and realization hits you – your vision board is nothing but a shit festival of broken dreams – a beautiful pictographic representation of all the things you’ve failed to achieve this year.

Resource: daily-tarot-girl

Four of Pentacles: Time to bust out of your comfort zone!

Veronica Noir, The Daily Tarot Girl’s evil counterpart, is here to kick some sense into you with her uncompassionate style of Tarot reading. She usually writes these half-drunk, so take her advice with a grain of salt…or a tablespoon!

Osho Zen Tarot

Today’s card is 4 of Pentacles and the message is clear:magic doesn’t happen in the comfort zone.

Yes, I know, the comfort zone is awesome. I love it too.

There is nothing I love more than snuggling on my couch, sipping spiked hot chocolate and watching The Vampire Diaries or some other silly show.

But does it make me feel ALIVE? No. Fuck no.

We all need to rest and recharge, I get it. That’s what the comfort zone is for. But don’t stay there forever – you weren’t meant to, for God’s sake!

It’s time for you to bust out from behind your wall and share your sparkly goodies with the world.

You hide yourself out of fear, you modest thing, you! But once you step out of your comfort zone, something amazing happens….your comfort zone gets bigger and bigger and bigger…..

Resource: daily-tarot-girl

Veronica’s advice: Skip the babyshower and go to Vegas

Veronica Noir, my evil counterpart, is too busy lounging on a yacht in the Hawaiian Islands – surrounded by glistening boy-toys –  to write today’s reading. So I’ve taken an old reading from a year ago and I’m totally recycling it. God, what would Veronica think? She hates people who recycle.

You are a multifaceted creature – never forget it! That is what The World is sayin’ to me today.

There are many different aspects to your personality and who you are, so don’t let yourself get pigeonholed into any silly “roles” or “personas” – the world is wide open!

Lets take a gander at this card, shall we? The naked lady in the center is dancing inside an ovally, egg shaped space – and if that’s not blatant vagina symbolism, well then I don’t know what is! And she grasps a phallic object in each hand (lucky bitch).

There is something wonderfully hermaphroditic about The World and its message is that you must be both receptive and active in order to truly be Queen (or King) of your surroundings.

Make a to-do list AND meditate. Let go of trying to control everything AND make a plan of action. Say YES to things that make you feel open and free (like a trip to Vegas!) and NO to things that make you want to crawl back in bed (like a friend’s boring baby-shower).

You get the idea! Open yourself to the world by opening up to all aspects of yourself without judgement.

Resource: daily-tarot-girl

Start wasting people’s time!

Tsk, tsk! My evil alter ego Veronica has slept in again and is only getting around to writing this NOW – at noon on a friday! This better be good….

The Linestrider Tarot by Siolo Thompson

Time is precious – especially yours. Yet corporations, governments and individual assholes constantly waste it.

I’m talking about complicated recycling rules, being put on hold and having to select bullshit options from a confusing robotic telephone menu, spam emails and of course…..telemarketers and scam callers.

The time has come to take back your power and start fucking with the system. Next time a telemarketer calls you, keep them on the line. Ask inane questions, pretend to be fascinated and if they sounds sexy, flirt a little – just see where it goes.

If a company pisses you off and wastes your time DO NOT get all huffy and threaten to withdraw your business – that’s classic whiny bitch stuff that doesn’t scare anyone. Remain a kind, polite client but become needy. Start asking for discounts and special perks – relax and have fun with it and see what happens.

If someone starts wasting your time but you turn it around and start wasting theirs, do you somehow get back your own precious time that’s been wasted? No. But you’ll be having way more fun!

And time spent enjoying oneself in nefarious ways is time well spent, indeed!

Here’s a great video that inspired me to write this post:

Resource: daily-tarot-girl

Empathy doesn’t equal dipshit

Veronica Noir is my batshit crazy twin sister. She is just like me except she’s brilliant, has no sense of guilt or shame, speaks her mind and does whatever she wants, when she wants! Kind of like a psychopath….but with a heart of gold. Oh, and she also reads Tarot…

Housewives Tarot

It’s okay to care about other people….

But don’t care about what they think of you.

Now reread that phrase because it’s important!

You can be a kind, caring, boring person AND go about your day without ever giving a flying fuck what other people think of you.

The Queen of Cups over here knows this shit. She knows it well.

She is compassionate, nurturing and really does care about people. But she sure as hell isn’t going to self-censor and pussy foot around town trying to be all P.C. and fit into the woodwork.

No. She lives her life her way and does it without feeling all guilty and shit.

Resource: daily-tarot-girl

Is your life constipated?

Veronica is my evil, Tarot reading twin. When she’s not writing for this blog, she’s out boozing and cruising for sweet young things and tapping out smut on her laptop! Oh, and she doesn’t give two shits about spelling things correctly, so don’t go emailing her about how she shouldn’t start a sentence with “and” or “but”….

Crystal Visions Tarot

The Knight of Pentacles is an incredibly practical man. He thinks things through.

But he’s also a boring, constipated, stuffed shirt who has no idea how to enjoy himself or move forward with his life.

The message he brings you is this….

“How are you being overly cautious in your life?”

There is nothing wrong with taking your time to think things through.

But overly planning things and being extra careful only work if we’re talking about birth control. Otherwise, it just sucks the magic out of daily life!

And here’s the thing – you were born naturally spontaneous and trusting in life. But then jerkoffs like your parents and evil robot school teachers instilled doubt in you by saying stuff like “without math 12 you will go nowhere!” and “you need to start saving for retirement now if you want to retire by age 80.”

Suddenly the world is a terrifying and cruel place, designed to break you and cause you misery.

Resource: daily-tarot-girl

Busyness = Madness

My evil twin Veronica just got a new Tarot deck today – The Linestrider Tarot – and she’s doing her very first reading with it just for you today, you lucky thing you!

Linestrider Tarot by Siolo Thompson

There’s a fine line between meaningful activity and foolish busy-ness. Today, you’re walking that line like a tightrope!

Even I, mistress Veronica, get tired of lazing around in a hammock all day long and need to balance out the leisure with some productivity.

However, one must take the utmost of caution to not become overly productive only for the sake of being busy, for this would be pure madness!

Remember when you were little and your mom would throw you outside and shout “now run around until you’re tired!” and then lock the door?

Some of us haven’t grown up yet and were still trying to run around in an attempt to exhaust ourselves. Why? I’ll never know.

Wait, I do know. Busyness is the new purity. Pious peeps used to take chastity vows and wear hair shirts but now they just sign up for carpools and shop a lot, leaving little time for sinfulness.

But the Three of Pentacles isn’t about busy-ness, it’s about activity that enriches you – the perfect antidote to busyness for people who are scared of hammocks

Resource:daily-tarot-girl