Goals are for dorks. Veronica says burn your vision board!

Veronica is my evil twin and Tarot reader extraordinaire. She is here to extract the wisdom of the Tarot and inject it into your daily life….all while talking nasty and being a total bitch.

Osho Zen Tarot

You know what? You don’t have to set any more fucking goals from now on.

You don’t have to become your “best self” or improve or aim higher.

Leave that shit to Tony Robbins.

You’re good just the way you are.

Do you feel a weight lifting off your shoulders now? Do you feel a little less exhausted?

That’s because goals and dreams can drag you down. Oh sure, at first they seem to lift you up – just like cocaine.

You feel all zippy when you paste together your vision board. You’re overcome by that heady assumption that the universe is your bitch and you can just order shit up like at a drive thru.

But then time passes and realization hits you – your vision board is nothing but a shit festival of broken dreams – a beautiful pictographic representation of all the things you’ve failed to achieve this year.

Resource: daily-tarot-girl

Four of Pentacles: Time to bust out of your comfort zone!

Veronica Noir, The Daily Tarot Girl’s evil counterpart, is here to kick some sense into you with her uncompassionate style of Tarot reading. She usually writes these half-drunk, so take her advice with a grain of salt…or a tablespoon!

Osho Zen Tarot

Today’s card is 4 of Pentacles and the message is clear:magic doesn’t happen in the comfort zone.

Yes, I know, the comfort zone is awesome. I love it too.

There is nothing I love more than snuggling on my couch, sipping spiked hot chocolate and watching The Vampire Diaries or some other silly show.

But does it make me feel ALIVE? No. Fuck no.

We all need to rest and recharge, I get it. That’s what the comfort zone is for. But don’t stay there forever – you weren’t meant to, for God’s sake!

It’s time for you to bust out from behind your wall and share your sparkly goodies with the world.

You hide yourself out of fear, you modest thing, you! But once you step out of your comfort zone, something amazing happens….your comfort zone gets bigger and bigger and bigger…..

Resource: daily-tarot-girl

Veronica’s advice: Skip the babyshower and go to Vegas

Veronica Noir, my evil counterpart, is too busy lounging on a yacht in the Hawaiian Islands – surrounded by glistening boy-toys –  to write today’s reading. So I’ve taken an old reading from a year ago and I’m totally recycling it. God, what would Veronica think? She hates people who recycle.

You are a multifaceted creature – never forget it! That is what The World is sayin’ to me today.

There are many different aspects to your personality and who you are, so don’t let yourself get pigeonholed into any silly “roles” or “personas” – the world is wide open!

Lets take a gander at this card, shall we? The naked lady in the center is dancing inside an ovally, egg shaped space – and if that’s not blatant vagina symbolism, well then I don’t know what is! And she grasps a phallic object in each hand (lucky bitch).

There is something wonderfully hermaphroditic about The World and its message is that you must be both receptive and active in order to truly be Queen (or King) of your surroundings.

Make a to-do list AND meditate. Let go of trying to control everything AND make a plan of action. Say YES to things that make you feel open and free (like a trip to Vegas!) and NO to things that make you want to crawl back in bed (like a friend’s boring baby-shower).

You get the idea! Open yourself to the world by opening up to all aspects of yourself without judgement.

Resource: daily-tarot-girl

Start wasting people’s time!

Tsk, tsk! My evil alter ego Veronica has slept in again and is only getting around to writing this NOW – at noon on a friday! This better be good….

The Linestrider Tarot by Siolo Thompson

Time is precious – especially yours. Yet corporations, governments and individual assholes constantly waste it.

I’m talking about complicated recycling rules, being put on hold and having to select bullshit options from a confusing robotic telephone menu, spam emails and of course…..telemarketers and scam callers.

The time has come to take back your power and start fucking with the system. Next time a telemarketer calls you, keep them on the line. Ask inane questions, pretend to be fascinated and if they sounds sexy, flirt a little – just see where it goes.

If a company pisses you off and wastes your time DO NOT get all huffy and threaten to withdraw your business – that’s classic whiny bitch stuff that doesn’t scare anyone. Remain a kind, polite client but become needy. Start asking for discounts and special perks – relax and have fun with it and see what happens.

If someone starts wasting your time but you turn it around and start wasting theirs, do you somehow get back your own precious time that’s been wasted? No. But you’ll be having way more fun!

And time spent enjoying oneself in nefarious ways is time well spent, indeed!

Here’s a great video that inspired me to write this post:

Resource: daily-tarot-girl

Empathy doesn’t equal dipshit

Veronica Noir is my batshit crazy twin sister. She is just like me except she’s brilliant, has no sense of guilt or shame, speaks her mind and does whatever she wants, when she wants! Kind of like a psychopath….but with a heart of gold. Oh, and she also reads Tarot…

Housewives Tarot

It’s okay to care about other people….

But don’t care about what they think of you.

Now reread that phrase because it’s important!

You can be a kind, caring, boring person AND go about your day without ever giving a flying fuck what other people think of you.

The Queen of Cups over here knows this shit. She knows it well.

She is compassionate, nurturing and really does care about people. But she sure as hell isn’t going to self-censor and pussy foot around town trying to be all P.C. and fit into the woodwork.

No. She lives her life her way and does it without feeling all guilty and shit.

Resource: daily-tarot-girl

Is your life constipated?

Veronica is my evil, Tarot reading twin. When she’s not writing for this blog, she’s out boozing and cruising for sweet young things and tapping out smut on her laptop! Oh, and she doesn’t give two shits about spelling things correctly, so don’t go emailing her about how she shouldn’t start a sentence with “and” or “but”….

Crystal Visions Tarot

The Knight of Pentacles is an incredibly practical man. He thinks things through.

But he’s also a boring, constipated, stuffed shirt who has no idea how to enjoy himself or move forward with his life.

The message he brings you is this….

“How are you being overly cautious in your life?”

There is nothing wrong with taking your time to think things through.

But overly planning things and being extra careful only work if we’re talking about birth control. Otherwise, it just sucks the magic out of daily life!

And here’s the thing – you were born naturally spontaneous and trusting in life. But then jerkoffs like your parents and evil robot school teachers instilled doubt in you by saying stuff like “without math 12 you will go nowhere!” and “you need to start saving for retirement now if you want to retire by age 80.”

Suddenly the world is a terrifying and cruel place, designed to break you and cause you misery.

Resource: daily-tarot-girl

Busyness = Madness

My evil twin Veronica just got a new Tarot deck today – The Linestrider Tarot – and she’s doing her very first reading with it just for you today, you lucky thing you!

Linestrider Tarot by Siolo Thompson

There’s a fine line between meaningful activity and foolish busy-ness. Today, you’re walking that line like a tightrope!

Even I, mistress Veronica, get tired of lazing around in a hammock all day long and need to balance out the leisure with some productivity.

However, one must take the utmost of caution to not become overly productive only for the sake of being busy, for this would be pure madness!

Remember when you were little and your mom would throw you outside and shout “now run around until you’re tired!” and then lock the door?

Some of us haven’t grown up yet and were still trying to run around in an attempt to exhaust ourselves. Why? I’ll never know.

Wait, I do know. Busyness is the new purity. Pious peeps used to take chastity vows and wear hair shirts but now they just sign up for carpools and shop a lot, leaving little time for sinfulness.

But the Three of Pentacles isn’t about busy-ness, it’s about activity that enriches you – the perfect antidote to busyness for people who are scared of hammocks

Resource:daily-tarot-girl

Participation is for wimps

Veronica is my evil twin sister who spends her days flirting with 20-year-old boys, suntanning topless on public beaches and saying NO to charities….she needs that money for martinis! Let’s see what evil advice she has for us today…

Osho Zen Tarot

Today’s Tarot card is Participation (aka Four of Wands).

When I was in elementary school, my teachers were always blathering on and on about “participation.” As in“Veronica, why aren’t you participating?”

Well, for starters I don’t participate in things that are stupid (like dodgeball) and I certainly don’t participate in things just because generic rule followers request it of me.

So take a look at your life today and notice what kinds of things you’re participating in. Do you enjoy it? Does it bring you satisfaction? Or are you doing it to appease someone?

For example, do you participate in donating to the charity of the week when you’re going through the checkout at Costco? Is it because you want to? Or is it because you’re worried that if you don’t, all those hot dog munchers behind you will think you’re a heartless bitch?

Participation is wonderful when it brings people together and diabolical when it forces you to just go through the motions for fear of being ostracized !

Resource: daily-tarot-girl

Get Wise, Not Smart!

Veronica is my evil twin and alter ego and she apologizes for being dreadfully late with today’s reading. She was busy having her toes painted aquamarine by one of her boy toys and she totally forgot about you. Don’t take it personally!

Vintage Wisdom Oracle by Victoria Moseley

 It’s time for you to wise up already and start using your wisdom for once.

No, not your “intelligence” – that’s boring and overrated. Wisdom is a whole different ball game!

Choosing to make a waldorf salad the night before a potluck baby shower, so you don’t have to waste your saturday morning chopping apples, is intelligence. But skipping the dreaded baby shower altogether so you can frolick on your balcony with your latest boy toy is Wisdom.

Deciding to cut sugar out of your diet because you know it’s bad for you is intelligent. But strategically planning on replacing your sugar binges with explosive orgasms is wise. 

Resourcce:daily-tarot-girl

Being “nice”: the biggest sin of all

International Woman of Leisure by day, whipcracking Dominatrix by night! Veronica is my evil twin and she took a quick break from eating bon bons to write you this tidbit of tasty advice. So listen up and take notes!

Fairytale Tarot by Karen Mahony

Everyone loves a demanding bitch and don’t let any mamsy pamsy, pastel sweater wearer tell you otherwise.

Deluded people everywhere will say they just want to find a nice man or woman, but they don’t. They secretly long for a demanding jerk who will tell them what’s what.

Never underestimate the allure of a woman who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to ask, or better yetdemand!

Possibly the most heartbreaking moment in my entire life was when someone wrote “I think you’re really nice”on a farewell card for me. I was crushed. Where had I gone wrong?

So if you’re they type of person who doesn’t say anything when your in a restaurant and there’s a window open and it’s blowing a freezing cold breeze on your dainty toes…start speaking up and bitching about it.

If you’re the type of person who says “I’m good with whatever you want to do,” for fucksakes, STOP IT!!!! No one likes a wishy washy opinionless twat.

Resource: daily-tarot-girl

“Self Love”: Not Just a Euphemism for Masturbation

Veronica is my evil, Tarot reading twin. She loves to write smut, travel the world and sun-tan topless in inappropriate places. Today she decided to recycle one of her readings from last year because deep down she just knows you’re too blitzed to notice…

Housewives Tarot

You know what? You’re a STAR!

Why? You just are!

Now it’s time to celebrate yourself.

But not in a lame, sissy-pants way like taking a bubble bath or eating a piece of chocolate cake.

You should be doing that stuff anyway – as a regular  part of life.

Celebrate by taking yourself on a hot date.

Treat yourself to an exquisite lunch. Order copious amounts of champagne and things containing dairy, gluten and refined sugar – but wear one of those fancy-lady scarves so you can strategically camouflage your gut as you bask in hedonistic splendor!

Make sure you arm yourself with today’s newspaper and while your waiting for your food,scrawl a Hitler stash on everyone you don’t like the looks of. This will provide you with hours of divine amusement and laughter!
Resource: daily-tarot-girl

Spring has sprung…have you?

Veronica is my debaucherous alter ego who is just like me only better. She thinks cats are better than kids, wine is better than water and naps are better than…well, everything!

The Fairytale Tarot by Karen Mahony

Spring is finally here! Tis the season for gardening, colon cleanses and all round zestyness!

Are there exciting new things on the horizon? No, probably not, but there is a renewed sense of excitement about the usual routine.

The Fool is about starting out fresh and travelling lightly.Unload all that crap you got for Christmas, give away your old clothes that totally suck now that a year has passed and revel in the feeling of …..less crap.

Dance freely in your living room to Tom Jones, skip like a lunatic through your neighborhood streets and roll around in dandelion patches.

Lame people will say “Spring is a time for re-evaluating goals…blah, blah”. Meh! Ignore that. Spring is a time for listening to the birds who have very special songs just for you if you’d put down your shitty iphone for five seconds and listen. Do it!

Resource: daily-tarot-girl

Talking Tarot with Benebell Wen

I had the joy and pleasure of sitting down for a Tarot chat with Tarot author extraordinaire Benebell Wen.

Join us as we discuss:

♥ Is Tarot safe?

♥ Fluffy oracle decks VS “hardcore” Tarot decks

♥ Why have some religions demonized Tarot?

♥  Reading for others: intuition vs Tarot knowledge

♥  Benebell’s new book!

and so much more….

Resource: daily-tarot-girl

Cooking for one….is not a f**king tragedy

Veronica Noir is one of the world’s greatest Tarot readers…and she is also my evil twinsies! She is single, diabolical and on fire – travelling the world reading Tarot, seducing young men and running naked on the beach! Let’s see what advice she has today…

Dame Darcy Mermaid Tarot

You know what I’m tired of?

Hearing people, I mean women, say things like “Oh, it’s just me so I don’t really bother cooking a proper meal or anything”

Just because you’re single doesn’t mean you have to eat gruel and tears in a dark corner while the happily paired eat grilled salmon and asparagus tips with wine.

Don’t think you can just act like YOU aren’t worth cooking for.

Time alone needs to be celebrated! Because time alone is time free of dumbfucks and inane chitty chatty bullshit.

The Sun is about joy and celebrating life – wherever you happen to find yourself

Resource: daily-tarot-girl

How to Read the Same Tarot Card in Different Decks

Do Tarot card meanings differ depending on what deck you’re using?

Does The High Priestess in the Rider-Waite-Smith Tarot deck have the same meaning inThe Druidcraft Tarot or the Shadowscapes Tarot?

Yes AND No!

Let me break it down for you and show you how to read Tarot like a pro – regardless of what Tarot deck you’re using…

When reading Tarot with different Tarot decks, keep these things in mind:

1) Each Tarot card has a basic meaning, which typically will not vary much from deck to deck. Think of this as the underlying structure of the card, like a blueprint for a building.

2) Each Tarot deck will depict the cards a bit differently. The underlying structure of the card remains the same, but the artistic differences are like interior decorating – they add a different twist to the basic structure/meaning.

3) Your initial interpretation of a Tarot card will remain very similar, regardless of what deck you’re using – but how you elaborate on that meaning will differ, depending on what images and symbols appear on the card.

Resource: daily-tarot-girl

Let’s talk Tea Leaf Reading & Tarot with Tabitha Dial

I have always been fascinated by Tea Leaf reading, so I jumped at the opportunity to talk with the lovely and amazing Tarot and Tea Leaf reader Tabitha Dial.

We talk about all kinds of fascinating issues, such as:

• How to read your own tea leaves
• Love symbols in your teacup
• The challenge of reading for people you know
• What if your intuition is wrong?

Resource: daily-tarot-girl

Nix the Little Dictators in Your Life!

Veronica is my bad, Tarot reading twin. She spends her days watching shows like Spartacus (for the greased up dudes, not the sword fighting), mixing coma-inducing beverages and giving other people advice on how to live their lives. Here’s her take on The Hierophant…

Housewives Tarot

No, I’m not talking about your children, as the title might suggest. So don’t get all excited.

I’m talking about the MEDIA!

Media – TV, radio, movies, ads and other stupid shit – all dictate what you should be focusing your attention on.

Magazines dictate what you should be worried about…CELLULITE!

The Internet dictates what you should want….A FUCKING VITAMIX, ALREADY!

The News tells you who you should be afraid of….TERRORISTS!

And worst of all, movies dictate what constitutes “sexy”….MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY?! I beg to differ.

But YOU get to dictate how much you engage with the Media shit show.

The most rebellious thing you can do this weekend is switch off the media dictators in your life.

So don’t just spend your Saturday vegging out on the couch watching shows on Netflix again, okay? Unless of course that show is Spartacus. Then it doesn’t count

Resource: daily-tarot-girl

Your Biggest Tarot Questions….Answered!

In this month’s episode of the Menage A Tarot podcast, three Tarot readers – myself, David Dear and Rhonda Snow – have gathered to answer your most frequently asked questions about Tarot card reading.

Questions like:

Can I read tarot for myself + how do I stay objective?

How can I better understand the Court Cards?

How do I interpret a reversed Tarot card?

How should I handle “negative” outcome cards?

Can I make a healthy living reading Tarot?

And many more!!!!

Resource: daily-tarot-girl

Planning for the future? Don’t!

Veronica is my evil, Tarot reading twin and she’s one sick puppy. She abhors the idea of saving for retirement, thinks university is for suckers and goes braless to Jazzercise class. Good God, we are such opposites! But I love her so much…

Anna K Tarot

Are you planning for the future?

WELL STOP!

It’s not good for you. Seriously. Leave that kind of stuff to people who are dead on the inside.

Possibly the stupidest question I’ve ever been asked is“where do you see yourself in five years?”

I’m still trying to think of the most offensive way to answer that one!

If you’ve ever found yourself worrying about RSPs, your health 20 years from now, dying alone, your career trajectory or pumping out spawn, take heart.You are not alone.

And this is the only thing that sets us apart from wild animals! Rwawar!

But don’t put a bunch of importance on your future.

Plan for it in the same way you might plan to make a little extra stir-fry for dinner tonight so you can have the leftovers for lunch tomorrow. Or how you might wax your crackbefore a hot date….just in case!

In other words, don’t make “planning for the future” your life’s work, but consider how it could make your life a bit easier.

Resource: daily-tarot-girl

It’s never too late to give up!

Veronica is back! After her exhausting holiday of eggnog slamming and rum ball munching she’s back at it. This reading is a little less provocative that her usual stuff and she apologizes. She wore out her sarcastic, bitchy, judgy side over the holidays 

Dame Darcy Mermaid Tarot

Just because you’ve put time and effort into something doesn’t mean you have to stick with it.You can jump ship at any time!

The Three of Wands is all about looking over the manifestations of your efforts and deciding whether you should keep on keepin’ on or abort the whole plan.

Maybe you’ve worked very hard to get where you are in your job – long hours, boring schooling, being stressed out all the time – but if you look on the horizon and see only more stress, boredom and long hours, what’s the point?!

You can back out and change your mind at any time! Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

There seems to be this big taboo around quitting and giving up, but if your giving up something that sucks, that’s not weakness or failure….that’s wisdom!

Most people think January is a time for goal setting. Fuck that. January is a time for re-evaluating. Look at what past goals have brought you and decide if it’s working for the new you, or if it’s only appeasing the old you.

Resource: daily-tarot-girl